And life gets a little better

My computer died. It was gruesome, like a slasher movie. Or at least I was screaming like a bimbette in a slasher movie. So close enough.

Of course, if I wanted my baby fixed, that meant I had to go OUT, which I'd been avoiding for nearly a week. But I did it. I put on the gear - which still needs a ninja symbol on it, seriously - and headed out. It took all day.

And nothing happened. Just like that Monty Python skit. I had no reaction. I came home without a sore throat. I was the super-nonallergic woman.

So the next day, we went hiking, and I took off my mask and again, nothing happened. So hay fever allergies? HA! Take that, pollen! Kiss my patootie! You have no power over me! Or...something like that.

So, now we have no idea what made my body flip its lid, but whatever it was seems to have ebbed, so I'll simply count my blessings and move on.

Actually, you know what? Let me rewind to the computer-store's mall for the first little 'count my blessings' moment. I said nothing happened that day, but that's not completely accurate. Nothing BAD happened.

But a moment of true Awesome did happen.

I tried on a pair of pants.

Usually, not my favorite pastime. I don't enjoy shopping - which may have something to do with the fact that my shopping typically includes two small, loud people following me everywhere and complaining about how little they want to be there and asking if I'm done yet and, my favorite moment, telling me: I don't think you should wear that one, Mommy. It's for skinny people.

Ah, the joys of childish honesty.

But shopping at this mall? I found my little corner of heaven. I have to go for the tall sizes, since I managed to avoid the hobbit genes in my family and snuck over to the 'vikings visited our hobbit village and got busy' genes. So I went into the filthy-rich only store, gathered up my pants, headed to the dressing room, and slipped on the first pair. Medium.

And they didn't fit me. The smalls didn't fit me. The EXTRA SMALLS didn't fit me. I am now, officially, a Skinny Bitch. They give out cookies for that or something, don't they? Really tiny, skinny cookies. With no frosting. But still cookies!

Seriously - that was awesome. A total 'look look look!' moment, where you want to dance out of the dressing room and blather at random strangers. "Do you know what SIZE this is? It's extra small, baby! I am SMALLER than an extra small! Rockin'!"

And part of it's just sharing the joy, and part of it's - let's be honest - a little bit of bragging. Which is rather strange. I feel like bragging about the size of my backside - yet another thing I never realized would happen in my life. Although, perhaps that's because I never thought it would get this small (yeah, okay, so I was taking another moment to brag. It's a sickness, seriously). As though I did any work to get here?

Of course not. It wasn't very fun, but I sure as heck didn't do anything other than eat what doesn't make me die.

Most of us tend to do that, I think.

In fact, in the spirit of eating things that help keep us alive, here's a quick and dirty corn tortilla recipe for the gluten-free crowd.

GF corn tortilla and meal variations -
What you need:
corn masa
warm water
salt

What you do:
1. Put the salt and corn masa in a bowl, blend it together with a fork. If you're on a low sodium diet, omit the salt. No problem.

2. Add the warm water and mix it into a dough. The amount depends on your altitude, the humidity levels, etc... You want a heavy dough, but not too sticky, and not so dry it's crumbling. It takes a little trial and error.

3. Heat a skillet to med-high heat.

4. While skillet is heating, you roll out the tortillas. Get two sheets of wax paper. Make a ball of dough about the size of an egg. Put it on one sheet, place the other sheet over it and roll it out between the two sheets of wax paper. This will keep it together. If you don't do this, the dough tends to stick to the rolling pin. Adding corn flour to try and prevent that dries out the tortilla too much. There are also corn tortilla molds you can purchase. Of course, the cheapest method is just patting the ball of dough into a tortilla in your hand. I'm sure some can do this well, but mine are a bit thick when I try it that way. Still taste good, though.

5. Lay the tortilla in the hot, dry pan. Iron skillets and non-stick will do fine without any oil added. Stainless steel you should add a little oil or fat first. Heat the tortilla until the bottom side has some brown spots on it, and then flip over and cook until that side is done as well. If you have a thicker tortilla, you may have to flip it again a couple times.

6. Topping ideas: beans, cheese, butter, any kind of cooked meat, green chile, red peppers, portabello mushrooms, tomatoes, potatoes, probably some wilted greens would work, too.

Variations:
1. If it's a tiring day and you want to make it an all-in-one-meal? Add in some toppings to the dough before you cook. You'll need to pat it between your hands rather than roll it. Corn, chile, cheese, meat, bell peppers, tomatoes or tomatillos, herbs or spices, whatever works!

2. These tortillas will work just fine, once they are cooked, for making a mexican-style lasagna. Just use the tortillas instead of lasagna noodles. We usually layered it with already cooked chopped chicken, green chile, and pre-cooked chopped red peppers. We kept some of the juices to make thing moist, if we didn't use cheese. If you have fructose issues and can have corn, I think the meat with a little cheese would taste great in this.

3. The dough itself can work as a kind of pot-pie crust as well, although we've usually only used it on the bottom. We simply pressed the dough into the shape of the glass container, piled in meat and veggies, and baked it. You have to take care not to make the dough too thick, so it will still cook, but the flavor is nice.



And let me end with a quote to help with those really bad days, when everything feels like it's never going to get better:

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tommorrow." (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Fructose Malabsorption

The diet was coming along well, everyone in the family was improving (including poor Brian who was just put on special diet, too), but our bodies were not satisfied. No, our genes demanded more.

We cannot be normal; of course not. Our bodies must be unique, different, special!

Our bodies must be a pain in the ass.

Dang it, dang it, dang it. We were doing so well, really we were, and then the kids started having problems. So I got on the research train again and found another food issue to explore: Fructose malabsorption. Oh joy.

Now, this is NOT a fruit thing. Yes, fructose is in fruit, but it's also in grains and vegetables and legumes and the entire darn edible world, essentially. Except meat. Carnivores everywhere rejoice, I'm sure.

The real issue for this condition is the ratio between fructose and glucose. Higher percentage of fructose compared to glucose, higher likelihood your life is gonna suck like a hoover for the next few days. The medical sites all discuss the 'gut' symptoms of this. That's their concern.

The parents whose kids have this? The majority I've read about didn't really notice the gut symptoms at first. They all discuss the fact that fructose malabsorption made their children lose their freaking minds. It changes the children's behavior to such an extent that the parents are contemplating infanticide just to get one, drama-free moment in their day.

And why is that?

When a person doesn't digest the majority of the fructose they consume, it moves happily on down the gut, and its presence interferes with the absorption of tryptophan. Since your body needs this to make serotonin and melatonin, you'll be short on these two for a day or so after you get too much fructose. And you will feel like crap as a result.

I am right there with all the parents. I wasn't noticing any gut issues, but the mood issues were through the roof! Nearly every time my kids had a lot of fruit, or coconut, or broccoli, or agave syrup, or honey - life exploded. And then there'd be times they'd lose their minds for no reason I could figure out. It's truly hard to describe how I can tell it's not just a normal 'bad day,' but there is an intensity, and an inability to regain control, that always goes along with this.

It's like pure angst has been poured into their veins and is bleeding out the pores.

Every tiny little thing sets them off. They wake up in a foul mood and stay that way for the rest of the day. Angry outbursts, huge bouts of weeping, no frustration tolerance, ADHD-like symptoms, difficulty sleeping. And then a day or two later, and it's gone.

It was happening so often, and from so many foods, that I was tearing out my hair trying to figure it out.

But then I happened across Fructose Malabsorption (dietary, not inherited), and woah baby does it fit the bill.

Lots of the kids' outbursts correlated to foods on bad list for this condition. And to add to the likelihood of their having it, in studies, 30-40% of people with any gut symptoms test positive for this. And celiac disease and food intolerances are considered possible causes for this, although the study results on that are more correlation than causation, at the moment.

In Australia, it's on the 'automatic test for this' list when people come in with gut symptoms. And here in the States...I've never heard of this in my life. Doctors don't usually even consider it. In fact, I was just reading from a FructMal gal and there is only one lab in her entire state that will do this test.

Once again, I'm so proud of my country's medical community. It brings a tear to my eye. Literally.

So, guess what we have to add to our list of things to consider?

This Diet

So far, my kids seem like they have mild levels of fructose malabsorption, with my son reacting more than my daughter. But now that I'm aware of what has too much fructose and what doesn't, and have been attempting to adjust the diet accordingly, things have been SO much better.

I swear, I might as well become a Dietician at this rate, I have to find out so much about food and nutrition!

For anyone interested in this condition, here's a few good links:
Fructose Malabsorption Yahoo Group - This group is Australia based, but has some great resources, research, and information, especially for parents!

Fruct Mal Blogger - This gal is great. She's had this condition for years, long before the medical community had identified it, so she has a lot of information and personal experience.