I've complained about my frustrations with doctors before, so I feel it's only fair to be just as loud in my happiness when something goes very, very right.
Last week, I was sent to a University Cancer Center to see a specialist about a hernia. My only experience with cancer before this was with my grandmother, when she was so far gone that the only thing we were able to do was hospice. The cancer center came as a surprise. Not that I had any preconceived notions; I hadn't really thought of what a cancer center would be like in any sense other than 'please, let me not have cancer.' But once I was there, the entire experience was, well, the only word I can think of is 'lovely.'
The first thing I noticed were the smiles. The receptionist smiled, the cashier smiled, the doctors and nurses who passed by smiled, and each nurse, intern, phlebotomist, radiologist, and medical assistant who I interacted with smiled. Each and every one. We chatted, we talked, and the entire experience was one of caring and a real enjoyment of people.
I suppose I could say that some of them were likely smiling simply because it was their job, but if so, they did a superb job. I felt calm, comfortable, and as though I was in a caring and safe environment. Every person I asked a question of paused, listened until I finished speaking, and then answered. No interruptions, no body language indicating 'this is taking too long, hurry it up.'
It was wonderful.
I had surgery for the hernia just yesterday, and once again, it was a wonderful experience, as surgeries go. At first, I was very nervous. I've been reacting to so many things that I wasn't certain how things would do during the surgery. When I was first referred over, even my regular doc mentioned that he thought my potential reactions were of concern. It's not as though I'm assuming I will have some sort of severe allergic reaction during surgery, but the thought definitely hovered in the back of my mind.
The last time I was in an ER, due to throat swelling, the nurses didn't want to note down any allergies that weren't specifically medicines, never mind that many of the substances on my allergy list are IN medication. They certainly didn't want to hear about my reacting to substances that don't even test as allergies. I felt the need to check everything they wanted to give me, because they had no idea what was safe for me, and honestly didn't seem to give a damn.
This time was the totally opposite experience. The nurses and doctors listened, and when I described what had been happening, they all took notes, asked questions to find out exactly what had been happening, and I felt absolutely that if anything happened during the surgery, it was not going to be due to negligence on their part. Again, a very, very comforting experience.
So here's a thank you to all the hospital staff I've met in the last week. You were wonderful, guys.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Good foods for kids not so good if they have pesticides
A new study on pesticides suggests that fruits and veggies where organophosphates were used as pesticides can cause ADHD symptoms. Organic or pesticide-free produce is more likely to be free of these chemicals (they are supposed to be, we just may not be able to trust the label - the commenter mentioned this as a potential issue).
http://community.parenthood.com/Pesticide-Link-to-ADHD/video/404243/40337.html
Another potential bad guy is food dyes. Most of us have heard that some kids may react to this, and the rebuttal that no, it doesn't do anything to kids at all. And a few of us may know parents who swear their kids are affected by dyes. What I didn't know was that some of the dyes still in use in the U.S. are no longer allowed in the UK. Our experts and theirs disagree on how good the studies are. (http://community.parenthood.com/_Kids-Food-Dyes-ADHD/video/404242/40337.html)
Of course, our FDA is the one that said genetically modified food was so similar to regular food that it didn't need any testing or regulation before it was put on the market, which makes me a bit short on trust for their freedom from lobby influence.
These two do make me wonder if these are two things I've been missing in our hunt for 'what makes our kids have their crazy times.' So far, every time we introduce foods that we haven't made from scratch, things are not good. My children slowly morph from slightly spazzy, quirky kids to some zombie caricature that is either going to shuffle through the day or attack those around them.
It's been hard to pin down - I don't like the 'reacting to everything' label. But I know that some of our fruits and veggies haven't been organic, because I'm short an arm and a leg that I would need just to pay for them. And often, the products we buy, if we buy any pre-made, have a dye in them. Not always, but they can, and if they do, I wonder if that's a part of the problem.
Better go back over the food log...if I was still keeping it and not being lazy and tallying things in my head. Crap. Back to the food log we go.
http://community.parenthood.com/Pesticide-Link-to-ADHD/video/404243/40337.html
Another potential bad guy is food dyes. Most of us have heard that some kids may react to this, and the rebuttal that no, it doesn't do anything to kids at all. And a few of us may know parents who swear their kids are affected by dyes. What I didn't know was that some of the dyes still in use in the U.S. are no longer allowed in the UK. Our experts and theirs disagree on how good the studies are. (http://community.parenthood.com/_Kids-Food-Dyes-ADHD/video/404242/40337.html)
Of course, our FDA is the one that said genetically modified food was so similar to regular food that it didn't need any testing or regulation before it was put on the market, which makes me a bit short on trust for their freedom from lobby influence.
These two do make me wonder if these are two things I've been missing in our hunt for 'what makes our kids have their crazy times.' So far, every time we introduce foods that we haven't made from scratch, things are not good. My children slowly morph from slightly spazzy, quirky kids to some zombie caricature that is either going to shuffle through the day or attack those around them.
It's been hard to pin down - I don't like the 'reacting to everything' label. But I know that some of our fruits and veggies haven't been organic, because I'm short an arm and a leg that I would need just to pay for them. And often, the products we buy, if we buy any pre-made, have a dye in them. Not always, but they can, and if they do, I wonder if that's a part of the problem.
Better go back over the food log...if I was still keeping it and not being lazy and tallying things in my head. Crap. Back to the food log we go.
Mustard and our using our minds
It's been a bit too long since I last blogged!
The mustard has worked well in the few recipes we've made, or rather, it's been a good flavor in the recipes we've made. The recipes themselves, I understand, did not go over so well. We tried a chicken salad with cilantro dressing, for example, but again, marinated the food too long (that seems to be a habit for me. I'm a marinade rebel or something, I suppose). In the end, the chicken picked up too much vinegar from the marinade and ended up far too sour.
However, the kids really liked the little mustard kick to it, so I think that counts as a condiment well done. It's not as useful as I had hoped, however, because of the chunky style. We have more recipes that require smooth mustard than whole grain, so that'll be the next thing we try.
But in between trying, I have been taking a break to have a little snit over how willing we can be to believe something we want to be true.
The other day, I received an email from a gal in a group I belong to, one of those that forwards along a letter, supposedly by a good source. In this case, it was a letter from Johns Hopkins, an excerpt from a pamphlet they send out to patients, supposedly. Part of the letter discusses how we should stop eating meat to avoid cancer.
My face looked something like this after reading that: 0.o
The advice is all over the place, from what prevents cancer to what can be done to treat it - it all involved eating and lifestyle changes, however. The lifestyle changes very closely resembled the Alkaline Diet that's popular right now. Veggies and raw foods were good - hey, most of us agree. Meat was bad - not so much agreement there, although moderation tends to be a good thing. Attitude makes a difference. Well, yeah, but I'm surprised Johns Hopkins would say something about it and...
Surgery and chemo are bad.
Again: 0.o
Now, I know chemo sucks to have, and doesn't always work. And surgery can have it's problems too, but this seemed so far off the mark from everything I've heard in the medical field that it started ringing alarm bells. And then came the kicker: products were mentioned by name.
Johns Hopkins, recommending that we take Bragg's aminos to prevent cancer? No, no, and no again. Ain't gonna happen. I cannot believe that a medical institution like this would actually tell patients to use a particular food product. They just don't DO that.
Turns out, that was a good call, as this is a completely fabricated letter. In fact, Johns Hopkins was so irritated by the letter itself, they issued a rebuttal that refuted or corrected every point. And as I was reading over the letter myself, I had to think about how many people have been forwarding this along - for three years now! - and believe it. I'm sure I've done it myself with other emails: medical, political, philosophical.
Why do we do this? Do we simply want something to be true so badly that we fail to use our critical thinking to look it over? Do we trust the source and assume that they must have reviewed it, so we can believe it whole cloth?
I suppose I find it disturbing these days because with the internet, where anyone in the world can put something out and say whatever they want about it and its sources, we need our critical thinking to kick in more often, not less. As more and more of us are taking our health into our own hands - some of us from sheer necessity - we don't want to screw ourselves up because we want something to be true so badly that we refuse to think about it clearly.
Because of how much difficulty I've been having lately, I've had many, many people offer up different methods, diets, and solutions that I should try. I haven't tried a single one, to date, because so far, they don't hold up once I check them out, or I'm not confident enough I could find one that would help instead of harm me.
The Alkaline Diet - One of the biggest proponents for the Alkaline Diet lied about his credentials and is being scrutinized by the National Council Against Health Fraud. There's been no reliable studies that the foods recommended result in alkaline or acidic conditions within the body. At all.
NAET - The story of the founder of NAET, Dr. Devi S. Nambudripad, is full of information that cannot be true and tests done on the process show it has no better results than random guessing. One of my favorite claims is that Dr. Nambudripad had an allergy to vitamin C - which doesn't exist, I'm sorry, but no - and so had to live off of Broccoli and rice for year...a diet that is really high in vitamin C. Now, I believe this person had major food problems - how could I not, with my history? - but the entire theory behind the NAET diet is badly flawed.
Homeopathic remedies - I like the idea of using less processed medicines to help heal, in part because I'm less likely (one would hope) to get allergens I can't have, like corn and gluten. However, there's a few problems.
1. The herbal industry in the United States is not known for its regulation, and that means that they can put nearly whatever they want in their bottles and sell it until they get caught. Many are good companies, of course, but you're still going to get the bad egg here and there. If you want to see if an herbal supplement or remedy you want to use is good, there is an independent website that tests foods and herbs ( Europe regulates its herbals for content, so if you can order from them, you have a better chance of getting what it claims). Another good one to check has been herbalwatch, which reports 'bad' companies for known fraud, harm, etc... But so far, it's been more trouble than its worth to hunt down what I might use.
2. The second problem is accuracy of information. There just aren't enough studies done on herbal remedies. I find that a shame, as some of these suckers have been around for hundreds of years, and really do seem to work, but without a very, very reliable herbalist who you know is studying this, and trying to be as accurate and up to date as possible, it's a bit of a crapshoot to figure out what is really a remedy, and what's a load of hooey, as this article discusses briefly. I always think of this old russian remedy I came across while studying folk medicine. It was a cure for what we now call TB, using cockroaches and piss as two of the ingredients. Blech, right? Only it turns out, this particular russian cockroach actually contains a chemical that is now used in some modern cures for TB. The piss seemed to help break it down to a usable form.
This sort of thing tells me that finding the answer as to what really works is going to be a very long process. Maybe some day I'll find someone who I feel I can trust fully with one of these alternative remedies, but until then, I'll have to keep plugging away!
The mustard has worked well in the few recipes we've made, or rather, it's been a good flavor in the recipes we've made. The recipes themselves, I understand, did not go over so well. We tried a chicken salad with cilantro dressing, for example, but again, marinated the food too long (that seems to be a habit for me. I'm a marinade rebel or something, I suppose). In the end, the chicken picked up too much vinegar from the marinade and ended up far too sour.
However, the kids really liked the little mustard kick to it, so I think that counts as a condiment well done. It's not as useful as I had hoped, however, because of the chunky style. We have more recipes that require smooth mustard than whole grain, so that'll be the next thing we try.
But in between trying, I have been taking a break to have a little snit over how willing we can be to believe something we want to be true.
The other day, I received an email from a gal in a group I belong to, one of those that forwards along a letter, supposedly by a good source. In this case, it was a letter from Johns Hopkins, an excerpt from a pamphlet they send out to patients, supposedly. Part of the letter discusses how we should stop eating meat to avoid cancer.
My face looked something like this after reading that: 0.o
The advice is all over the place, from what prevents cancer to what can be done to treat it - it all involved eating and lifestyle changes, however. The lifestyle changes very closely resembled the Alkaline Diet that's popular right now. Veggies and raw foods were good - hey, most of us agree. Meat was bad - not so much agreement there, although moderation tends to be a good thing. Attitude makes a difference. Well, yeah, but I'm surprised Johns Hopkins would say something about it and...
Surgery and chemo are bad.
Again: 0.o
Now, I know chemo sucks to have, and doesn't always work. And surgery can have it's problems too, but this seemed so far off the mark from everything I've heard in the medical field that it started ringing alarm bells. And then came the kicker: products were mentioned by name.
Johns Hopkins, recommending that we take Bragg's aminos to prevent cancer? No, no, and no again. Ain't gonna happen. I cannot believe that a medical institution like this would actually tell patients to use a particular food product. They just don't DO that.
Turns out, that was a good call, as this is a completely fabricated letter. In fact, Johns Hopkins was so irritated by the letter itself, they issued a rebuttal that refuted or corrected every point. And as I was reading over the letter myself, I had to think about how many people have been forwarding this along - for three years now! - and believe it. I'm sure I've done it myself with other emails: medical, political, philosophical.
Why do we do this? Do we simply want something to be true so badly that we fail to use our critical thinking to look it over? Do we trust the source and assume that they must have reviewed it, so we can believe it whole cloth?
I suppose I find it disturbing these days because with the internet, where anyone in the world can put something out and say whatever they want about it and its sources, we need our critical thinking to kick in more often, not less. As more and more of us are taking our health into our own hands - some of us from sheer necessity - we don't want to screw ourselves up because we want something to be true so badly that we refuse to think about it clearly.
Because of how much difficulty I've been having lately, I've had many, many people offer up different methods, diets, and solutions that I should try. I haven't tried a single one, to date, because so far, they don't hold up once I check them out, or I'm not confident enough I could find one that would help instead of harm me.
The Alkaline Diet - One of the biggest proponents for the Alkaline Diet lied about his credentials and is being scrutinized by the National Council Against Health Fraud. There's been no reliable studies that the foods recommended result in alkaline or acidic conditions within the body. At all.
NAET - The story of the founder of NAET, Dr. Devi S. Nambudripad, is full of information that cannot be true and tests done on the process show it has no better results than random guessing. One of my favorite claims is that Dr. Nambudripad had an allergy to vitamin C - which doesn't exist, I'm sorry, but no - and so had to live off of Broccoli and rice for year...a diet that is really high in vitamin C. Now, I believe this person had major food problems - how could I not, with my history? - but the entire theory behind the NAET diet is badly flawed.
Homeopathic remedies - I like the idea of using less processed medicines to help heal, in part because I'm less likely (one would hope) to get allergens I can't have, like corn and gluten. However, there's a few problems.
1. The herbal industry in the United States is not known for its regulation, and that means that they can put nearly whatever they want in their bottles and sell it until they get caught. Many are good companies, of course, but you're still going to get the bad egg here and there. If you want to see if an herbal supplement or remedy you want to use is good, there is an independent website that tests foods and herbs ( Europe regulates its herbals for content, so if you can order from them, you have a better chance of getting what it claims). Another good one to check has been herbalwatch, which reports 'bad' companies for known fraud, harm, etc... But so far, it's been more trouble than its worth to hunt down what I might use.
2. The second problem is accuracy of information. There just aren't enough studies done on herbal remedies. I find that a shame, as some of these suckers have been around for hundreds of years, and really do seem to work, but without a very, very reliable herbalist who you know is studying this, and trying to be as accurate and up to date as possible, it's a bit of a crapshoot to figure out what is really a remedy, and what's a load of hooey, as this article discusses briefly. I always think of this old russian remedy I came across while studying folk medicine. It was a cure for what we now call TB, using cockroaches and piss as two of the ingredients. Blech, right? Only it turns out, this particular russian cockroach actually contains a chemical that is now used in some modern cures for TB. The piss seemed to help break it down to a usable form.
This sort of thing tells me that finding the answer as to what really works is going to be a very long process. Maybe some day I'll find someone who I feel I can trust fully with one of these alternative remedies, but until then, I'll have to keep plugging away!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Homemade mustard - corn free, gluten free
We've been looking for a good mustard for a while, but every one we found either had gluten or corn in it. So finally, I bit the bullet and we decided to make our own mustard. We had a yummy looking recipe for chicken salad with cilantro dressing that needed 'coarse ground mustard,' so that's what we tried. Coarse ground means chunky, essentially, for those of you who are not mustard aficionados (Yes, that would be me. I had to look this up!)
This sucker turned out quite nice, according to my children's taste testing. Chunky, a bit sweet like a honey mustard, but with a nice spicy kick at the end of it. We found this recipe at cdkitchen.com, where they had quite a few different mustard varieties to make from scratch.
Coarse ground mustard recipe
Now, one of the first things is soaking the mustard seeds in apple cider vinegar for 36 hours. We did it a bit longer. 7 days, actually, as it languished in my fridge. Not that I forgot, I just conveniently didn't think about it for a looong while, is all. Still, it turned out just fine. The seeds soaked up all the vinegar, and after quite a bit of time in the food processor, the texture came out just like the pictures.
Hopefully that means we got it right.
I'll admit, there's something fun about have this big, clunky glass jar with homemade mustard in our fridge. As my daughter says: it's like we're a farm now! Without the work or the chicken poop, but by god, we have homemade mustard!
I'll blog later about how it turns out when we start to use it!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Herbs, Cactus, and Better Cooking
When I start shopping these days, I get sucked in by herbs. They always look so pretty and wonderful, and not too hard to keep alive (I think that last is a cruel lie designed to create heartache and guilt, actually).
But they also look like salvation.
Fresh herbs are expensive, oh heck yeah, but when there is no dairy in a dish, no gluten, no eggs? Well, the difference between fresh and dried herbs is more noticeable than I'd ever imagined. I need the flavors the fresh herbs are giving me; I just don't want to pay for it at the store every time.
So yesterday, I went herb crazy - three types of mint, two types of thyme, cilantro, basil, oregano. Now, I have only used mint three times in a my life, and thyme barely more than that. But those adorable little pots with the tiny green leaves sucked me in. I wanted an herb garden, goshdarnit, and I was going to make one. Whether or not it had herbs that I actually used.
I'm not sure how that happens. There is something about an herb garden that screams 'I am chef.' Better than a certificate of completion from culinary school. Herbs mean I am cooking, and cooking something that tastes good. Of course, herbs are a big fat bunch of liars, but I like them anyway.
And I figured out what to do with all that mint, too: mint water. It's simple, adds a little something pretty for when people come over, or you want a little verve to your humdrum drinking experience.
Mint Water
What you need:
2-3 sprigs of fresh mint
a pitcher of water, about 2 quarts
What you do:
1. Wash the mint, make sure it's bug free. Set out the pitcher with water and pop the mint in it.
2. Let this sit at room temperature for a few hours, or overnight.
3. You can dink as is, or chill before using. The mint taste is mild, but pleasant, for those who like mint.
Hey - this is a recipe even I can't screw up!
But let me add a cautionary note to all this herb usage. They are gateway foods: they lead to culinary experimentation in all possible foods in your yard. How else can I explain carefully picking buds off my cholla cactus, to try to prepare and eat, when I've never eaten one in my life? I'm checking out prickly pear pads and how I can cook them, thinking about how long until the beans on my palo verde tree are ripe so I can harvest them and freeze them for later use.
I have gone off the deep end. Not because these aren't interesting and possibly even tasty foods, but because I have NO idea what the heck to DO with them. I don't use these. I am a mediocre cook with foods I've seen in the kitchen my whole life. I don't know why some ancestral part of my brain thinks that if I use food I've actually picked, my cooking will somehow improve to match. Positive thinking at it's best.
Although honestly - cholla buds tasted pretty darn good. SCARY, but good. Have you ever eaten a food that you had to de-prickle so that you don't get spines in your mouth? And you're not even sure you're doing it right? That, my friends, is eating on the edge. Putting that first bite of boiled cholla bud in my mouth was very, very nerve wracking. But it tasted awesome - slimy like okra, but tasting of asparagus, with a tart aftertaste. Very unique, and really good!
Ahem...before my throat started up on me again and we realized these, too, are off Shauna's menu. But they were awesome until then!
And it looks very, very interesting. Here, take a look!
My cholla buds, partially de-thorned.
And now cooked - which is not nearly so pretty.
If you ever get a chance to try these, they are supposedly good in soups, but I think they'd go very nicely as a side dish, too, in slices.
But they also look like salvation.
Fresh herbs are expensive, oh heck yeah, but when there is no dairy in a dish, no gluten, no eggs? Well, the difference between fresh and dried herbs is more noticeable than I'd ever imagined. I need the flavors the fresh herbs are giving me; I just don't want to pay for it at the store every time.
So yesterday, I went herb crazy - three types of mint, two types of thyme, cilantro, basil, oregano. Now, I have only used mint three times in a my life, and thyme barely more than that. But those adorable little pots with the tiny green leaves sucked me in. I wanted an herb garden, goshdarnit, and I was going to make one. Whether or not it had herbs that I actually used.
I'm not sure how that happens. There is something about an herb garden that screams 'I am chef.' Better than a certificate of completion from culinary school. Herbs mean I am cooking, and cooking something that tastes good. Of course, herbs are a big fat bunch of liars, but I like them anyway.
And I figured out what to do with all that mint, too: mint water. It's simple, adds a little something pretty for when people come over, or you want a little verve to your humdrum drinking experience.
Mint Water
What you need:
2-3 sprigs of fresh mint
a pitcher of water, about 2 quarts
What you do:
1. Wash the mint, make sure it's bug free. Set out the pitcher with water and pop the mint in it.
2. Let this sit at room temperature for a few hours, or overnight.
3. You can dink as is, or chill before using. The mint taste is mild, but pleasant, for those who like mint.
Hey - this is a recipe even I can't screw up!
But let me add a cautionary note to all this herb usage. They are gateway foods: they lead to culinary experimentation in all possible foods in your yard. How else can I explain carefully picking buds off my cholla cactus, to try to prepare and eat, when I've never eaten one in my life? I'm checking out prickly pear pads and how I can cook them, thinking about how long until the beans on my palo verde tree are ripe so I can harvest them and freeze them for later use.
I have gone off the deep end. Not because these aren't interesting and possibly even tasty foods, but because I have NO idea what the heck to DO with them. I don't use these. I am a mediocre cook with foods I've seen in the kitchen my whole life. I don't know why some ancestral part of my brain thinks that if I use food I've actually picked, my cooking will somehow improve to match. Positive thinking at it's best.
Although honestly - cholla buds tasted pretty darn good. SCARY, but good. Have you ever eaten a food that you had to de-prickle so that you don't get spines in your mouth? And you're not even sure you're doing it right? That, my friends, is eating on the edge. Putting that first bite of boiled cholla bud in my mouth was very, very nerve wracking. But it tasted awesome - slimy like okra, but tasting of asparagus, with a tart aftertaste. Very unique, and really good!
Ahem...before my throat started up on me again and we realized these, too, are off Shauna's menu. But they were awesome until then!
And it looks very, very interesting. Here, take a look!
My cholla buds, partially de-thorned.
And now cooked - which is not nearly so pretty.
If you ever get a chance to try these, they are supposedly good in soups, but I think they'd go very nicely as a side dish, too, in slices.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
My town and tomatoes
I decided not to go visit the relatives. My husband took the kids, they all had a pretty good visit, and I'm glad they got to go. I understand there were some challenges - we're still finding our way in the realm of 'preparing food in a kitchen that contains gluten' and I believe my MIL was surprised by how much of a challenge that really is.
I wish I could have gone. I was just about ready to go with them, and then I had a little allergy cascade of doom. It's like a waterfall, with health at the top and hacking, throat swollen agony at the bottom. And once I start down it, I can't seem to stop it until I hide out at home and stay away from everything in the known world for about a week.
It sucks. Like a big suck-a-roo roundup. My 20th highschool reunion is coming up - I likely can't go. I'd like to see my great uncles for possibly the last time this summer when they will be within a state of me for the first time in decades - I likely can't go. Conventions - no. Vacations - no.
Until I can react and make it STOP, I'm kind of stuck like someone from Little House on the Allergy-Free Prairie. At least it's an allergy-free prairie that now includes tomatoes. I can have cooked tomatoes now - that is beyond awesome. They actually go well with the foods I can eat, they are tasty, and easy to get, and frankly cheaper than almost all my other foods.
I am so excited to start trying out some recipes!! I'll put 'em up when I get any interesting ones.
I wish I could have gone. I was just about ready to go with them, and then I had a little allergy cascade of doom. It's like a waterfall, with health at the top and hacking, throat swollen agony at the bottom. And once I start down it, I can't seem to stop it until I hide out at home and stay away from everything in the known world for about a week.
It sucks. Like a big suck-a-roo roundup. My 20th highschool reunion is coming up - I likely can't go. I'd like to see my great uncles for possibly the last time this summer when they will be within a state of me for the first time in decades - I likely can't go. Conventions - no. Vacations - no.
Until I can react and make it STOP, I'm kind of stuck like someone from Little House on the Allergy-Free Prairie. At least it's an allergy-free prairie that now includes tomatoes. I can have cooked tomatoes now - that is beyond awesome. They actually go well with the foods I can eat, they are tasty, and easy to get, and frankly cheaper than almost all my other foods.
I am so excited to start trying out some recipes!! I'll put 'em up when I get any interesting ones.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Decisions
Okay, so I'm eating the exact same food I was yesterday. I couldn't go to church - they have coffee there. And now, my in-laws want me to go visit them. My husband is hoping I can go visit them. I'm...really scared to go. What happens if I react while I'm there and there's no where to go? I can't take benadryl, can't take the inhaler I've been given.
And I'm not entirely sure how happy my mother in law will be over having to deal with the family's food issues. Special pans, special spoons, special foods, nothing contaminated - it's hard enough for us to deal with, and we've been working on this for months.
So...thinking about how to go about making the decision: to go or not to go. Some balance between health and safety vs. fear.
I dislike this so darn much. I don't want to feel afraid to leave my own town, but I have to admit that I do. I'm used to the reactions now - a bit laid back about them, even. I can judge how fast my throat is swelling up, whether it's mild and will likely subside within a few minutes, or whether I need to get out of that situation, now, and I'll feel terrible for the next few days. Or worst case, I have to rush myself to the ER.
But that's with me knowing my town. I know places that are safe, that are unsafe, and I can get out of danger pretty darn quickly, for the most part. In all the places I used to visit and live? I don't know. I've never been there when my body reacted like this. I don't know if I can go visit the home I grew up in and suddenly have to leave because I react to it. It feels like some paranoid delusion rather than reality.
Guess I'll have to decide what to do eventually, though. We'll see how it all goes.
And I'm not entirely sure how happy my mother in law will be over having to deal with the family's food issues. Special pans, special spoons, special foods, nothing contaminated - it's hard enough for us to deal with, and we've been working on this for months.
So...thinking about how to go about making the decision: to go or not to go. Some balance between health and safety vs. fear.
I dislike this so darn much. I don't want to feel afraid to leave my own town, but I have to admit that I do. I'm used to the reactions now - a bit laid back about them, even. I can judge how fast my throat is swelling up, whether it's mild and will likely subside within a few minutes, or whether I need to get out of that situation, now, and I'll feel terrible for the next few days. Or worst case, I have to rush myself to the ER.
But that's with me knowing my town. I know places that are safe, that are unsafe, and I can get out of danger pretty darn quickly, for the most part. In all the places I used to visit and live? I don't know. I've never been there when my body reacted like this. I don't know if I can go visit the home I grew up in and suddenly have to leave because I react to it. It feels like some paranoid delusion rather than reality.
Guess I'll have to decide what to do eventually, though. We'll see how it all goes.
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