My computer died. It was gruesome, like a slasher movie. Or at least I was screaming like a bimbette in a slasher movie. So close enough.
Of course, if I wanted my baby fixed, that meant I had to go OUT, which I'd been avoiding for nearly a week. But I did it. I put on the gear - which still needs a ninja symbol on it, seriously - and headed out. It took all day.
And nothing happened. Just like that Monty Python skit. I had no reaction. I came home without a sore throat. I was the super-nonallergic woman.
So the next day, we went hiking, and I took off my mask and again, nothing happened. So hay fever allergies? HA! Take that, pollen! Kiss my patootie! You have no power over me! Or...something like that.
So, now we have no idea what made my body flip its lid, but whatever it was seems to have ebbed, so I'll simply count my blessings and move on.
Actually, you know what? Let me rewind to the computer-store's mall for the first little 'count my blessings' moment. I said nothing happened that day, but that's not completely accurate. Nothing BAD happened.
But a moment of true Awesome did happen.
I tried on a pair of pants.
Usually, not my favorite pastime. I don't enjoy shopping - which may have something to do with the fact that my shopping typically includes two small, loud people following me everywhere and complaining about how little they want to be there and asking if I'm done yet and, my favorite moment, telling me: I don't think you should wear that one, Mommy. It's for skinny people.
Ah, the joys of childish honesty.
But shopping at this mall? I found my little corner of heaven. I have to go for the tall sizes, since I managed to avoid the hobbit genes in my family and snuck over to the 'vikings visited our hobbit village and got busy' genes. So I went into the filthy-rich only store, gathered up my pants, headed to the dressing room, and slipped on the first pair. Medium.
And they didn't fit me. The smalls didn't fit me. The EXTRA SMALLS didn't fit me. I am now, officially, a Skinny Bitch. They give out cookies for that or something, don't they? Really tiny, skinny cookies. With no frosting. But still cookies!
Seriously - that was awesome. A total 'look look look!' moment, where you want to dance out of the dressing room and blather at random strangers. "Do you know what SIZE this is? It's extra small, baby! I am SMALLER than an extra small! Rockin'!"
And part of it's just sharing the joy, and part of it's - let's be honest - a little bit of bragging. Which is rather strange. I feel like bragging about the size of my backside - yet another thing I never realized would happen in my life. Although, perhaps that's because I never thought it would get this small (yeah, okay, so I was taking another moment to brag. It's a sickness, seriously). As though I did any work to get here?
Of course not. It wasn't very fun, but I sure as heck didn't do anything other than eat what doesn't make me die.
Most of us tend to do that, I think.
In fact, in the spirit of eating things that help keep us alive, here's a quick and dirty corn tortilla recipe for the gluten-free crowd.
GF corn tortilla and meal variations -
What you need:
What you do:
1. Put the salt and corn masa in a bowl, blend it together with a fork. If you're on a low sodium diet, omit the salt. No problem.
2. Add the warm water and mix it into a dough. The amount depends on your altitude, the humidity levels, etc... You want a heavy dough, but not too sticky, and not so dry it's crumbling. It takes a little trial and error.
3. Heat a skillet to med-high heat.
4. While skillet is heating, you roll out the tortillas. Get two sheets of wax paper. Make a ball of dough about the size of an egg. Put it on one sheet, place the other sheet over it and roll it out between the two sheets of wax paper. This will keep it together. If you don't do this, the dough tends to stick to the rolling pin. Adding corn flour to try and prevent that dries out the tortilla too much. There are also corn tortilla molds you can purchase. Of course, the cheapest method is just patting the ball of dough into a tortilla in your hand. I'm sure some can do this well, but mine are a bit thick when I try it that way. Still taste good, though.
5. Lay the tortilla in the hot, dry pan. Iron skillets and non-stick will do fine without any oil added. Stainless steel you should add a little oil or fat first. Heat the tortilla until the bottom side has some brown spots on it, and then flip over and cook until that side is done as well. If you have a thicker tortilla, you may have to flip it again a couple times.
6. Topping ideas: beans, cheese, butter, any kind of cooked meat, green chile, red peppers, portabello mushrooms, tomatoes, potatoes, probably some wilted greens would work, too.
1. If it's a tiring day and you want to make it an all-in-one-meal? Add in some toppings to the dough before you cook. You'll need to pat it between your hands rather than roll it. Corn, chile, cheese, meat, bell peppers, tomatoes or tomatillos, herbs or spices, whatever works!
2. These tortillas will work just fine, once they are cooked, for making a mexican-style lasagna. Just use the tortillas instead of lasagna noodles. We usually layered it with already cooked chopped chicken, green chile, and pre-cooked chopped red peppers. We kept some of the juices to make thing moist, if we didn't use cheese. If you have fructose issues and can have corn, I think the meat with a little cheese would taste great in this.
3. The dough itself can work as a kind of pot-pie crust as well, although we've usually only used it on the bottom. We simply pressed the dough into the shape of the glass container, piled in meat and veggies, and baked it. You have to take care not to make the dough too thick, so it will still cook, but the flavor is nice.
And let me end with a quote to help with those really bad days, when everything feels like it's never going to get better:
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tommorrow." (Mary Anne Radmacher)